All Pun And Games: Comical Signs That Prove Wit Has No Speed Limit

Making other people laugh (with you, not at you) is one of the greatest pleasures you can accomplish in life. Putting a smile on people’s faces is priceless; hearing them laugh their hearts out is even better. You’ll discover a few methods of doing this if you have a funny bone. But some choose a particularly inventive approach, using signs and puns to make folks chuckle. And you know our passion for such. Roadside signs with clever puns are a specialty of Vince Rozmiarek from Colorado, often referred to as Vince the Sign Guy. We’ve gathered some of his best and most recent puns to brighten your day and ward off a bad mood. Prepare to roll your eyes, laugh out loud, and crack a joke.

That must have put a “wrench” in his plans

Nearly everyone wants that summer body when the warm weather comes. Who doesn’t like to feel comfortable in their own body? Plus, you don’t need to go and purchase new clothes because your old ones will fit you well.

So why would the sign guy pick a chemical like thinner? What’s the relationship between paint thinner and weight loss? Oh, we get it now! That’s some top-grade wordplay right there! He’s referring to losing weight and getting skinny, not the chemical. Now that’s funny!

Keeping it to the point

Let’s talk about book editors and newspaper editors. These people are the backbone when it comes to disseminating information clearly and effectively. These people have a lot of responsibilities, such as fact-checking and rewriting content for easy consumption.

We love the excellent wordplay here. Editors edit, which is making a long story short. The sign guy should immediately start designing crosswords for the New York Times. Can you imagine how those would turn out? They’re going to be a hit!

Can you “see” what he did there?

Mirrors have a special place in many cultures. In many countries, it’s a commonplace superstition that breaking a mirror brings seven years of bad luck. That’s because it is said to house a portion of the person’s soul, i.e., their reflection.

We are not here to dissect superstitions or scrutinize old beliefs if they are true. We’re here to appreciate this funny joke and laugh about it. It’s something you can’t deny; inspecting the mirror means there’s no avoiding seeing yourself in it.

Questions that make you break a sweat

With the heatwaves and spikes in temperatures we are experiencing worldwide, it’s time to reflect on how we’ve been treating earth for the last century. It’s equally important to be mindful of what you’re wearing, especially when staying outside for prolonged periods.

Breathable fabrics like cotton are ideal during the warm season. Sweaters are a no-go in this scenario. Can you imagine how much you’ll end up sweating? The clue is in the name! Also, who is really the “sweater” here? We need to put our thinking hat on.

Here’s one joke that “aged” well

The sign guy has moved on to science with this particular endeavor. But we’d like to know why he wants to marry a carbon dating specialist. Is it because he has artifacts that need dating? But a lifelong commitment to that?

Well, the punchline lies in the word dating. Now this is how you should construct a joke! Carbon 14 is used to “date” the age of things, and in a sense, the specialist wants to keep things casual instead of committing to something serious.

You won’t get “bored” of this joke

Not every kid is a fan of boarding school. Having to stay away for months from your home and friends can put a damper on the excitement of going somewhere new. There would be some solace if your friends were in the same institution too.

But what has an airplane got to do with a boarding school? Oh, we get it! Boarding! As in getting into the aircraft with a pass. We’re curious where sign guy gets inspiration for his jokes because we’d like to go to the same place. Our jokes haven’t been faring well lately.

Wear appropriate wear, where you end up going

From a beverage point of view, coffee is today’s most popular drink. With colonial influence back in the day, tea once had the monopoly, but coffee has slowly inched past it on the list of drinks people can’t live or function without.

The global coffee industry is valued at $490 billion, but coffee isn’t welcome everywhere. Some places are still loyal to tea. Having said that, you shouldn’t wear a T-shirt to a coffee club. Wear a dress shirt; it’s more formal and less likely to invoke the ire of coffee lovers.

Yeah, we can af(ford) to make that joke!

Ford car models remind us of that old meme about Harrison Ford. An image of the actor partying got named the Ford Fiesta. Harrison, as Indiana Jones, got a Ford Explorer. A still from the movie “The Fugitive” got the name, you guessed it, Ford Escape.

So how does Adderall fit in with all of these things? It fits because the sign guy has gone and made a hilarious ADHD joke. Those with the condition take Adderall to function normally, so they go from “Fiesta” to “Focus.”

Well, well, well…

With the current inflation rate, living costs have been continually increasing for some time now. You begin to feel the crunch, and a lot of folks are living paycheck to paycheck with bills piling up. In heavily urbanized areas, water bills are expensive.

If you dig up a well, your water problems could be mitigated. But how do you do that in an urban setting? The only thing you can do is send a card, hoping your neighbor comes across it soon!

They caught up to him, unawares.

Speaking of police chases, does anyone remember that chase scene from Shrek 2? Shrek is running away while the police of Far Far Away try to catch him. They refer to the now-transformed donkey as a white bronco.

That’s the vehicle model that O.J. Simpson drove during his encounter with the police. The word chase prompted us to share it with you. It wouldn’t have been a lengthy chase if O.J. Simpson had worn boxers. Then, it would have been cut short, just like the joke indicates.

Do not go the way of the streaming services

Being there for someone in their time of need is a noble thing, especially if they are going through a personal crisis and need someone to lend them an ear. Never underestimate the power of encouraging words or someone’s presence.

Having said that, one should not take a sympathetic ear for granted. If a person genuinely offers you their time and effort, respect that. They do it because they care. Otherwise, they will have no option other than to cancel their subscription.

Jokes that get us all “fired” up

Glue on firearms? We don’t see a purpose for that action unless we are talking about a Looney Tunes skit here (preferably involving Elmer J. Fudd and Bugs Bunny). Maybe, if the butt of the rifle were broken, then glue would be needed.

But why would the sign guy be sticking to his guns? Surely it can’t be safe? Well, it is once you consider that it is a figure of speech! He’s saying that he won’t change his stance, even if he sleeps in the dog house tonight.

Be aware of who you are volunteering for!

Volunteering is a rewarding way to give back to the community. If you have more than you need, it’s always a good thing to help those not as fortunate as you. But do a background check before you volunteer.

Otherwise, your time and labor will be exploited in the name of volunteering. Remember that you won’t be paid for the work you put in, as the sign says, it will make no sense, and you won’t make any cents.

Would have been quite the spectacle, eh?

Henry Ford was a true pioneer in the automotive industry and an American icon. He also came up with the cruel idea of the five-day workweek, so we can’t help but have mixed feelings about the guy. On the one hand, we want to applaud him, but on the other, we want to strangle him.

But what would have happened if the Wright brothers had developed the automobile design and Henry Ford had designed the airplane? Would we have had flying cars already? It doesn’t sound right. Well, this guy had the same thought.

Quit horsing around cops

Horses are intelligent animals, and there must be a societal structure among them. There are racehorses, pedigree studs, workhorses, and horses like the Mustang that live untethered, throwing caution to the wind as they speed everywhere.

Especially in places like Canada and the UK, where they have prominently mounted divisions, they must understand how things are done. Unless the horse has any priors or carries anything it shouldn’t, there’s nothing to worry about.

Thoughts to ponder

As much as we need to enjoy life and reward ourselves occasionally, we should get into the habit of saving money. After all, rainy days are bound to come, and when you find yourself in a difficult situation, your savings can help.

Nobody likes to be in debt. Having that thought do the rounds in your head can be quite a nasty affair, just like the sign guy highlighted here. Remember, you don’t want to attract the wrong interest, especially one that comes from the bank.

Pandering to the pun enthusiasts

Pandas are marvelous creatures, and we’re happy they’re no longer endangered. They are China’s national icon, and it baffles us to this day why the Chinese entertainment industry failed to develop a concept similar to Kung Fu Panda before Hollywood did.

There is no definite meaning to the word “panda,” and in Chinese, there are like 20 names for the animal. But all of those names need all the letters to be coherent. What is the catch? “P” and “A”… gah! What a dad joke this is!

Stygian Blue hues, everywhere

While acknowledging that this features classy wordplay, it also makes you think. If you dream about a color that you are unable to describe, does it even exist? Or was it only a figment of your imagination? Such an enigma.

And how do you even describe color to someone blind? There are colors called impossible that we, as human beings, cannot perceive. Even the simulation of one can be likened to the presence of fruit in a La Croix. You can only provide so much.

Why am I in this room, again?

Nearly all of us have experienced walking into a room and forgetting why we went there. The most nerve-wracking thing is searching your brain for answers, trying to remember what made you do such a thing. It’s scary when your memory is not as sharp as it once was.

Now why would having foam insoles make things easier to remember? Because they are memory foam! Like in the mattress. While acknowledging this is a good joke, it would have been nice if the memory insole was real.

Unhinged performance

It must have been a pretty cool band if they had the opportunity to open for The Doors. They usually don’t give nobodies a chance unless they are exceptionally great. Have you come across any of The Hinges’ songs? What can you say about their work?

We must admit they’ve chosen a pretty unique name for their band. Well, it hinges on being ridiculous, but hey, as long as it works; but wait a minute… hinges, doors? Of course, you need a hinge to open a door! Well done, sign guy!

Hope they didn’t get into a heated argument

It’s safe to assume that most of you know the hit comedy “Shaun of the Dead.” In the movie, Peter Serafinowicz’s character always scolds Nick Frost’s character for forgetting to lock the front door, putting them in harm’s way.

His concern is valid; someone or something could get into their house without their knowledge. If you’re using central heating on a particularly chilly day, an open door wastes all that generated heat, which is why this joke is off the hook!

Good looks don’t always look good

Looks play a role when picking a life partner. No matter what people say to convince themselves otherwise, nobody would choose an ugly person over a good-looking one unless that attractive guy or girl has a nasty body odor.

Getting into a relationship is a commitment and not a decision to be made lightly. A happy life can be achieved with a good understanding and a clear line of communication. Or else you will have to resort to being on the receiving end of dirty looks!

A significANT pun!

Nobody likes being sick unless it is to get off work. But even when that is the case, going through sickness can be a real ordeal. Who doesn’t want to be healthy with a strong immune system and do things they’ve always wanted?

We don’t know much about an ant’s immune system. We would like to know more about them. Who knows what secrets you can unravel about their anti-b… ANTY BODIES! Of course, he would go for a pun. Gah. It is pretty funny, though.

The midlife crisis catches up to Bond

We really liked the sendoff old 007 got in the last James Bond movie, “No Time to Die.” Daniel Craig brought his “A” game to the five films where he starred as the titular British spy. But we can’t recall seeing any gray hair.

Bond lives a very stressful life; that is a given if you’re an international man of mystery. That much constant stress can turn your hair gray. But what is this talk of dye? Oh, we get it! Hair dye! He has gray hair because he’s that busy!

A day in the life of the sign guy

We once saw this post telling us that we should not disturb the undergrowth in a forested area because that’s where most insect larvae are found until they go through the metamorphosis that turns them into grown insects.

This rings especially true for fireflies. This should be the same case for beetles, but what’s with the typo? The sign guy doesn’t make a typo unless he’s making a pun! Which he has here! Beatles, as in the band! Brilliant!

Un-bee-lievable!

With the onset of summer come the bugs, not in little amounts but in droves. We know that things can get serious in certain places, but what on earth justifies the deployment of a special police unit? How massive are these insects?

Are we looking at this scenario from a monster or horror movie perspective? It must have been severe if they needed the SWAT team for bugs. Wait a minute; did Sign Guy just make another pun? Swatting insects! Gah!

Be more empathetic

Those of you reading this are most likely aware of the wildfires that devastated Maui. What’s more heartbreaking is that the locals have to tell tourists not to come and engage in their activities because people in Maui are in mourning.

Which is a sad state of affairs to find oneself in. How would you feel if you lost everything in a fire and people started to take selfies in your front yard? No wonder you would be in a “a low ha” state.

Find me if you can

The words hide and seek bring back many cherished childhood memories. The words make us nostalgic. The rush when you have to find the perfect hiding place is something you must experience. Nobody liked being the seeker; everybody wanted to hide.

Given that it is a universally popular children’s game, how hard would it be to find people good at hiding? Well, the sign guy isn’t talking about the difficulty of finding people who are good at it… Wait, he actually does!

Don’t be koi, tell us the joke!

After a while, we are proud to say that we came across that joke before the sign guy did. It was told differently, but the punchline is the same. Allow us to tell you about it. Please indulge us.

So, koi fish always travel in groups of four. Let’s name them: a, b, c, and d. Whenever there’s a threat from a predator, the a, b, and c koi fish scatter, so the d koi fish gets attacked. Get it? D koi = decoy!

Now here’s a joke with appeal!

So, we are on the subject of anthropomorphic bananas. Whatever it is, it must be quite health-conscious. One sign of discomfort, and it’s on the way to the doctor. It must have had a potassium imbalance for it to not feel well like this.

But wait a minute. This is a post by the sign guy, and we may have read it too fast. And how right we are! Instead of “feeling well,” he has gone with “peeling well” because it is a banana that we are talking about!

Everybody was kung-fu fighting!

In today’s dangerous times, taking up martial arts lessons would be beneficial. That is if you have the money and the time to spare. A little knowledge of self-defense goes a long way if you find yourself in a tough position.

You don’t need a black belt in Karate to get out of a difficult situation. If the aggressors see that you know your stuff, the odds are in your favor. Black eyes, on the other hand, are an occupational hazard.

Nailed it!

What a delightful combination. On the one hand, you have free dental care (and you know how much that cost). On the other, your nails would be to die for. You’ll be the favorite of every schoolmaster for miles around.

But why would the two be fighting? Surely, they took time to understand what they were getting themselves into. Pretty hardcore, fighting tooth and nail! Of course, they would! This is a dentist and a manicurist we are talking about!

Now isn’t that a comeback?

When we talk about boomerangs, two things come to mind. Australia is an obvious answer, but the other one is quite special. The “boomer-aang gang!” Get it? It’s got Aang in it! Oh, Sokka would have absolutely adored the sign guy.

They are both lovable dorks who love to crack puns. Just look at this one right here. It’s straightforward in its construction, which makes it funny! Like Jim Carrey said to Meryl Streep during her AFI award ceremony, “Less is more.”

Pay attention or be specific

This reminds us of one of those programmer-related jokes that goes something like this: Go to the market and buy milk. If they have eggs, bring six. So instead of one bottle and six eggs, you end up with six bottles of milk.

This joke is similar to that. He was advised to include ketchup on the list because they needed it. But he took the meaning of put at face value and smeared the shopping list with it. No wonder he couldn’t see anything.

Nope, nothing wrong with the WiFi bill…

Oof. Things can’t have been easy for the sign guy! The presence of nitrates, especially in his urine, means one thing that he has caught a UTI. Those who’ve been diagnosed with it know how painful it can be.

But what is he talking about here? Day rates? The doctor isn’t talking about broadband rates! Oh, that’s what he’s confused about! He must have confused nitrates with night rates! Better get that ear checked while you are at it, sign guy!

Then you shoulda put a ring (socket) on it!

We firmly believe that with the correct training, experience, and mindset, women can do the jobs that men dominate. Roofing is no exception. How on earth can you tell who did what? All we care about is top-notch results.

We are unsure if we have ever heard of a roofing expo before. Also, shingle ladies? They could put up the entire roof with the training, so why just shingles? We’ll tell you why, because of the Beyoncé song!

It’s good that he got to the “root” of the problem

We distinctly remember something our 7th-grade English teacher said to us. “Nothing is needed in excess.” Because, in a way, that is how you develop addictions. Ask anyone who’s overcome dependencies; they’ll tell you the horrors. It isn’t easy overcoming them.

So, if the sign guy is not out of the woods yet with his hiking addiction… why do we feel that we have been taken for a ride? That’s because we were! Hiking? Out of the woods? It’s all wordplay, for Pete’s sake!

Express yourself!

At this age, access to a good therapist can be life-changing. With advancements in technology and the changes in societal perspectives, mental health should be given the priority and spotlight it deserves. When you have a safe space to talk about your feelings, you’ll be able to understand your emotions better.

Through therapy, we can find the best ways to express ourselves. Bottling up your emotions has proved to result in harm, and it’s on that aspect that this joke works so well. He uses the double meaning given by “I can’t say” to good effect here.

Apple-solutely perfect delivery

This has to be one of the best jokes that we have come across. Pretty next level when you stop for a while and think about it. How on earth does the sign guy come up with these fantastic bangers?

Of course, they would consume what’s left and pack the rest to be sold. This is a great example of using words that have multiple meanings. We can’t stop raving about this, but maybe it’s time to can it, now?

What the actual cluck?

Salads have made a comeback in dieting circles. While most of us prefer to skip it, salads can be fun and tasty if you know what to add to it. Chicken salad serves as the best example of this discussion.

But adding grain is something that we have yet to come across. It could be a regional thing. Well, no! The sign guy is talking about trying to feed a chicken some salad. Of course, they would go for the grains; they’re not health-conscious.

They are sticking to a see-food diet

Whatever anyone has to say, you must be conscious of what you eat to have the figure of your dreams. However, that’s something easier said than done. Cutting down on the foods that make you happy is a challenging sacrifice.

But if you do it right, exercise regularly, and are patient, achieving your goals is easy. Calorie counting is one way to do it, but it can be daunting with all the numbers and figures. The statistics the sign guy is talking about are something else!

If you are “fed up” with people

People come into our lives in various shapes and sizes, but you won’t get along with everyone. Some folks will get on your nerves. If their morals are off, it is better to limit their involvement in your life or shut them off.

If their behavior makes you sick, the better you are without them. But the sign guy has made a dark joke here by alluding to people as food! We hate to be Jeffrey Dammer-ish here, but did he remember his seasonings?

Take it to the grave

Here’s a bit of gallows humor to lighten or darken the mood. Even though this is an excellent joke, it does make you think. If you happened to make a typo while giving instructions on arranging your gravestone, would that be a secret you’d take to your grave?

We can imagine the guy who deliberately made the typo having a great time at the cemetery. He might be having a rave at the grave while the family feuds! He’s at eternal rest while the family is in constant unrest!

Timed it perfectly

Clocks. Funny things, aren’t they? Made specifically to keep tabs on something that doesn’t exist, if you think about it (we can’t say take the time to think about it, yeah? That’s because we’ll be contradicting ourselves here if we do.)

To get to the matter at hand here, a documentary about the concept of time could be fascinating. It’s about time they did something like that. We want to end on that note while appreciating this excellent joke.

Being a swiftie has its perks

Taylor Swift’s “Eras” tour is quite the spectacle. Not only has nearly every conceivable celebrity appeared in that show, but it also showcases the sheer star power that the singer commands. It is nothing short of an extravaganza.

But what’s this quip about getting his pants hemmed? We get the Taylor/Tailor pun, but… ohh! Swift! As in getting the job done quickly! Well, we have to hand it to the sign guy for coming up with a banger of a joke like that… so swiftly!